Army Sailor -- War in the Sandbox...
The Adventures of a Sailor in Afghanistan...

This may sound silly, in fact at first it may make you think I am crazy. But the fact is that for the last few weeks I have really missed Afghanistan. I have given this a lot of thought, and I have discussed it with a few people, including some veterans, and I have realized that perhaps it is not as crazy as it may initially seem. You see I have realized that it's not Afghanistan that I miss. I don't miss the crappy living conditions, I don't miss being shot at, and I don't miss carrying a weapon everywhere. What I do miss is the camaraderie that I shared while I was there. I built friendships in a mere 18 months that usually take years or even a life time to forge.

Don't get me wrong. I have plenty of friends here at home but it is different. I do like the people I work with here at the NAVICP as well, but our relationships can never be as tight as those I has with people who I went to hell and back with. While I was in Afghanistan I formed bonds that crossed rank structures and services. A Lieutenant Commander was my brother, I had the privilege of being mentored by two great Master Sergeants, an amazing Senior Chief, and no less than six Chief Petty Officers. I learned how to mentor numerous Sergeants, Petty Officers, Airmen, Corporals and Privates. At the end of the day each one was family.

The support structure that you form while in a combat zone is one that can not be adequately described in words. Being separated from all of that as quickly as I was turned out to be difficult to handle.

This deployment was unusual because I was not deployed with my permanent unit, so when we came home we scattered to the winds. Normally, you come home from a deployment and your shipmates are home with you, but now I don't get to see any of them. The Lieutenant Commander who I love like a brother is in South Carolina, I have a Master Sergeant in Utah and one in New York, my Senior Chief is in San Diego, the Chiefs I served with are in Nevada, California, Florida, Virginia, and other locations. I know that if I ever truly need any help I can call on any of them at any time, after all, that's what brotherhood is about, but it is still a bit hard being home.

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to be home, I can't express it. I love my family and my friends, but it is very difficult to feel fulfilled in my current job as a desk jockey. It's hard to feel sympathetic when my friends complain about something from their jobs or lives, and I haven't experienced anything I would consider exciting in the least since I have been home. It's an odd feeling, and I hope that it will soon pass.

I am told this is all normal, so I would want others returning home to know what to expect, and to also know that these feelings are normal. I would also encourage those coming home from a deployment to discuss their feelings in-depth with family and friends, and other veterans. It can help your family and friends to better understand what you've gone through and what you are feeling, and it can help you regain a feeling of being normal again.

There has been a lot of hoopla lately about a recent "U.S. Army Crackdown" on military bloggers. What strikes me as funny is that there is very little new to this "Crackdown". The basic explanation of the whole thing is that bloggers must register their blogs with their chain-of-command. If the chain-of-command wants they can require personnel to submit each post for review before posting, or they can ban blogging all together for their personnel. Luckily for me the Navy has not yet released any particular regulations, although my blog is registered both with my command and my former combat command. So I should be covered.

However, if I am reading this wrong, I personally think this would be a huge mistake. I think it is sad that these rules have been enough to make some military bloggers stop blogging. I believe Military Bloggers are one of the best forms of Public Relations the military has. Military Bloggers help put a more honest, and human face on an already unpopular war. Trying to quiet the greatest source of positive news about the war would be a very sad mistake in my opinion. It leads to an overarching feeling that the military feels it has something to hide.

I for one fully understand and support that the military must keep a close eye on military blogs to ensure that there are no violations of operational security, but that is hardly a reason to silence the troops. I think those in power need to recognize what a valuable resource military blogs can be.

I for one intend to keep writing. I will continue to be sensible about my posts and I will not violate operational security, but I also will not be silent, I feel I'd be remiss in my duties as a patriot if I were.

I know I have not posted in a while...

I have a mountain of e-mails and a back-log of phone calls to address too...

I've been under quite a bit of minor stresses. I guess I've let it get to me a bit. But I am getting better. A big part of it has been preparing for my upcoming Chiefs Board. This board will directly determine the rest of my career. In some ways it will dictate much of the rest of my life. That makes me nervous. Everyone has been telling me that I have an incredibly good chance of making it, but I am not as certain. I know that nothing is 100% certain, especially not in the military.

I also have about a thousand individual personal projects I have been trying to work on, none of which I have been able to dedicate enough time to. That's know big deal, but it frustrates me.

I also had to cancel a recent trip to Mississippi to visit my mentor, due to some work related commitments. That turned out at least in part to be a good thing, because I could not really afford the trip anyway. I am going to try to make it next month. Things should be better then.

In the mean time I am still trying to deal with issues in personal relationships, career and internal to myself.

I am not posting this to complain, but simply to make it clear that I have not disappeared, I have simply taken a brief hiatus.

The strangest thing is that I actually miss Afghanistan. I know that sounds absolutely crazy, but I made such good friends there, and we shared such commaraderie that I simply don't get at the NAVICP. It's strange being back. I talk to people and I get this overwhelming feeling that they really don't "get it". I guess you really can't, unless you've been there...

That's kind of frustrating too...

I was going through my photos, and I came across some good pictures to share from our last days in Afghanistan... Right there in Bagram, just waiting for the flight home. A few of us had decided about half-way through our deployment that we wanted to do something nice for our Command Sergeant Major. The man had nearly 30 years of service to the U.S. Army Special Forces. He is a good man who cares deeply about the welfare of his people. But what do you get a Special Forces Command Sergeant Major, especially in Afghanistan?

Well... our CSM had several phrases that you were sure to hear at every formation. "Horseshoe on me", "Let me see your dog-tags" and "Eye contact" were the usual demands. So we had a plaque made. The plaque itself had the U.S. Army Civil Affairs / Psychological Operations (USACAPOC) patch engraved on it, with the Special Forces tab of course. We super-imposed a horse-shoe on top of that (we were lucky that one of our nurses had grown up on a ranch and knew where to get a horse shoe). Around the horse shoe we mounted a series of specially made dog-tags with the names of everyone in the battalion on them. At the bottom of the plaque was a simple brass placard engraved with the words "Eye Contact".

The gift seemed to be well received, the meaning needed no explanation, and he knew the appreciation we all shared for him. Those of us in the Navy seemed to share a special appreciation for the man, as he really went out of his way to make sure we were treated no differently than soldiers, and that we got every opportunity the regular soldiers did.

Sailors presenting the plaque to the Command Sergeant Major

Those last days were very pretty. Especially around Christmas. We got plenty of snow, and many of the folks living at Bagram went out of their way to decorate their B-Huts for the holiday. It certainly looked pretty, though awful strange seeing as we were in a war-zone.

You can see the snowfall coming down, we got more snow than Pennsylvania!

A two-toned (Woodland & Desert) Humvee covered in snow...

By 0100 the snow was accumulating on the trees creating a really cool effect.

The "Mobilized Moms" really went out of their way to decorate...

What a festive war zone we made...

I have to be honest with you... The Navy may have a lot of uniforms, but we just don't have the Army's fashion. In our last few days at Bagram my Yeoman and I had some down time, and we took a moment to enjoy the "high-fashion" head wear and eye wear the Army had issued us. These are pictures, I just had to share...

The Yeoman is on the prowl in the Army's Cold Weather head gear. I forget what the hat was called, but it was awesome. It might look silly, but damn it was warm. I wish they had let me keep this thing...

The Yeoman is very photogenic...

The Yeoman took much advantage of the fact that the Army apparently has no rules governing the wear of the watch-cap...

The Army was kind enough to let me keep these great ballistic glasses. They offer ballistic protection, LASER protection, and they are damn fashionable... I'm gonna wear these bad boys to the club...