Army Sailor -- War in the Sandbox...
The Adventures of a Sailor in Afghanistan...

The end of our deployment over here is approaching... Not long to go... It would seem that we are in the 4th quarter of the game. As the time continues to pass I only realize more and more how tired I am. Tired in everyway a man can be, physically, mentally and emotionally, but mostly the last two. This shit definately takes its toll on you.

I find that in my mental and emotional exhaustion I am begining to see a lot of uncertainty. In my future, in my relationships with friends and loved ones and in my career... I find myself thinking a lot of hair-brained thoughts and at times even saying or doing things that I know may offend those around me, even those who I deeply care about. Uggh... It's like some sort of strange defensive mechanism of mine. I think I am getting to a point where I am starting to realize that I really care a lot about some of the people I am working with over here, and that when I get back to the states we may likely lose contact. Not that I'd want to, and not that I won't try to keep in touch, but it just always seems to work out that way. After we get back we are going to go our separate ways, I back to the Navy and many of them back to the Army, or school, or wherever their lives may take them. I think that something inside of me instinctively wants to drive the closest of them away jst to prevent the pain of the inevitable loss of contact... It's wierd and I am rambling.

Don't get me wrong now... some of the people I work with I down right loathe, and can not wait to get away from. But for the most part, I work with a truly remarkable group of people who I like, admire and respect. I hope not to lose that.

I am definately glad to have this blog as an outlet. I might be crazy by now if I didn't. Even though I have to watch what I say, it is great just to be able to express myself and to get comments and feed back from readers. It really helps me cope and helps make the time go by a little quicker.

I just hope that the readers understand that some of my posts are emotionally charged at the time of writing. They may express a level of frustration that was momentary, or even some misplaced frustration. This place has a strange way of messing with your emotions. I find myself wondering about stuff that would be important back at home, but is silly to be worrying about over here... Stuff like whether or not I will make Chief. I need to worry about whether or not someone is gonna blow my nuggets off, not whether or not I am going to make Chief. For now I need to keep my head in the game, and let everything else come in time.

I am a big fan of Podcasting. I subscribe to a lot of podcasts and video casts, most of which are from or related to Revision3. Being deployed in Afghanistan, I am unable to download the episodes of my favorite internet programs, due to a lack of bandwidth and restrictions set on the network here.

So I went to the Revision3 Forums and I started a thread suggesting that Revision3 may want to offer their shows on CD or DVD to be purchased in the mail for people in situations such as mine. I was met with an absolutely amazing outcry of support. Many people offered to download the shows for me and mail them to me, to do their part in supporting the troops. It was from that outcry that the idea for TroopCasting was born...

I purchased the Domain Name TroopCasting.com, and staying up late at night to work on it I developed a simple website with one idea in mind, helping entertain the Troops. Being a Sailor who is currently deployed on the ground in Afghanistan myself, I can attest to the fact that entertainment is very valuable. It helps pass the time, and it helps us keep up with what is going on at home, while making us feel more at home.

The general idea behind TroopCasting is a simple one. You can sign up as either a Troop or an Adopter. When you sign up you should include a valid mailing address. I will match Troops with Adopters and then they can discuss what pocasts or what sort of entertainment the Troop would like to receive. The beauty of TroopCasting is that it is not limited to just Podcasts... You can send books, magazines, movies, music, whatever you and the soldier, sailor, airman or Marine you are sponsoring agree on.

It's cheap for the Adopter, and it's great for the Troops. The website is pretty basic right now, but I intend to develop it much further when I get back to the states. If anyone is a skilled PHP designer and would like to help, please let me know.

So what TroopCasting is, is an attempt to support the Troops in a way that is easy, makes a big impact, it's affordable for most anyone, and you can download the programs when you are not using your computer, making sure you get the most out of that highspeed connection you pay for. The TroopCasting forums can also serve as a great place where Troops can interact with each other and the public easily, in an open community. What TroopCasting is NOT is a Piracy Service. TroopCasting is intended only to distribute LEGAL material. If you send music, it should be legally purchased, or released under a Creative Commons Agreement, or Public Domain. The same for movies. All podcasts are Creative Commons and can be distributed. TroopCasting is not responsible for the material you send, we are not middle-men, we simply connect you with a soldier, sailor, airman or Marine who is deployed.

If you want to know more about podcasts, please read this. If you have any questions comments or concerns, please let me know, or please bring it up on the TroopCasting Forums.

Special thanks to all my friends and supporters at Defending the Truth and Revision3, this project would have never gotten off the ground with out you all. Now let make sure it succeeds!

It's official... Fall has come to Afghanistan. It's getting chilly and the leaves on what few trees there are are turning color. The arrival of the chill actually makes me happy. It means that the end of my time here is drawing closer, and though I risk jinxing myself, I dare say that I have survived thus far, I think I can make it the rest of the way.

I already have thoughts of returning home dancing in my head. I have a growing list of things I want to do, people and places I want to visit... What it all boils down to is that I want to get on with living. If I owe Afghanistan one debt of gratitude, it is making me appreciate being alive. I have a new appreciation for all the things I have and do at home. It has also helped me realize the things that are truly important to me. The things that are not that important, I don't really miss.

I look forward with a good bit of zeal to returning to college, and finally being in an environment that encourages free thought and freedom of expression. I look forward to maintaining no required grooming standard, only that which I impose upon myself.

How much better the food will taste, how much sweeter the wine will be, and how much more beautiful the music will be when I return home. So much to live for... Why am I wasting my time over here? I risk my life daily for people who don't want me in their country. I don't want to be in their country. The solution seems obvious.

I never again want to hear a man who faces no danger tell me that 'god is on our side'. I don't ever again want to deal with people who constantly sing songs to Jesus, while silently damning me to hell in their heart because I do not follow their religion. I never want to have someone blow themselves up, trying to kill me because they think it is what Allah would want. I don't want to have to hide my food and drink because a VIP is coming and it's Ramadan, so because he is Muslim, we will all practice the Muslim tradition of fasting. I see such ridiculous acts carried out each and every day in the name of religion. I see advertisements for 'God' on Armed Forces Network Television over here. I see and here all this stupidity that just makes me angry to my very core, because it seems it is exactly all this religious mumbo-jumbo that is causing all the violence in the world today. Religion has sickened me to a point that I wish to be free of it all together. I just wish to see an end to violence, and that will never happen so long as God continues to interrupt our daily lives.

Tonight I attended an 'All Navy Call' in Bagram for a visit by the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy, the highest ranking enlisted person in the Navy. He has only been the MCPON for about three months, and he is the second MCPON to visit since I have been here. He strikes me as being much more down-to-earth, and much more sailor-oriented than the last MCPON. He seemed very personal, and seemed to have a genuine concern for those of us serving over here. I think he did an excellent job of addressing many of our concerns.

He made it a point to mention the changing face and role of the modern Navy. He also stressed that things were going to get harder on all sailors. In the past a sailor usually new well in advance when his deployments would be, and when he'd be in port. Also in the past, shore duty (with a few exceptions) was kind of a 'safe-haven' from deployments, sort of a break from arduous sea duty. But that is to be no more. He said we can expect to see these ground billets supporting the Army to become more and more the norm.

He took a series of questions and managed to answer them all pretty well, with out anyone walking away feeling like they were just blown-off, or fed a line of crap. One humoirous moment came when a young seaman, who said that he "had just gotten out of boot camp" asked if the MCPON thought we were witnessing the 'end-times'. While the crowd found the question very amusing, the MCPON managed to give the young man an aswer, and not make him feel silly. In my opinion, that right there is a very positive sign. He made everyone feel welcome. I really wanted to get a picture with the new MCPON, but the line was incredibly long, people lined up like he was a rock star. I suppose in some ways, this man who has served his country with honor for long enough to remember a time when the Navy allowed beards, really is a rock star. He really represents all that the most junior sailor can achieve, given the right motivation, perseverance and mentorship.

I have to say, that whereas I have been really disappointed with a lot that is going on with the Navy today, I left the MCPON's visit tonight feeling a lot better about the Navy, and our leadership (inside the Navy). Nothing is all bad. I still intend to get out next year, because I want to pursue bigger dreams (not to mention my family will kill me if I don't get out), but it brings me hope to think that there may still be one or two of the 'old-school Master Chiefs' out there to guide the Navy on it's path. If every Master Chief were like the one who mentored me, the Navy would be a far better place... and I'd be re-enlisting.

It's the 231st Birthday of the U.S. Navy! It also happens to be my own birthday. Whereas I would certainly rather spend my birthday elsewhere, I have to say I am damn grateful just to be here to see this birthday, this great day for the United States Navy!

HOOYAH NAVY!