Army Sailor -- War in the Sandbox...
The Adventures of a Sailor in Afghanistan...

Stand Navy down the field, sails set to the sky.
We'll never change our course, so Army you steer shy-y-y-y.
Roll up the score, Navy, Anchors Aweigh.
Sail Navy down the field and sink the Army, sink the Army Grey.

Get underway, Navy, decks cleared for the fray,
We'll hoist true Navy Blue o Army down your Grey-y-y-y.
Full speed ahead, Navy; Army heave to,
Furl Black and Grey and Gold and hoist the Navy, hoist the Navy
Blue

Blue of the Seven Seas; gold of God's great sun
Let these our colors be till all of time be done-n-n-ne,
By Severn shore we learn Navy's stern call:
Faith, courage, service true, with honor over, honor over all.

There has been snow on the mountains for quite some time now. At least a few weeks. But today snow fell for the first time this year in the Valley where Bagram is. Large, slowly fallying flakes of bright white snow turned the sky so grey that the mountains could hardly be seen in the distance. It was beautiful. The ground is not yet cold enough for the snow to stick, but it will be soon. The air is certainly cold enough to make you walk a little more quickly...

Last night I actually managed to get the first, full night of sound & peaceful sleep I have gotten in a few weeks. It was nice. I think my mind was set at ease, at least partially, by the overwhelming amount of support everyone has been showing me in their comments on this blog. I thank you all for that. Although I am certain that other contributing factors include my own exhaustion and the fact that nothing exploded last night, at least nothing that I could hear.

I have written about it before, but it is worth mentioning again, this is a very odd world I am living in. It is a world where things explode daily, young girls (some only 17 or 18) are wandering around with pony-tails and assault rifles, and people carry weapons to church. In someways it is a little snapshot of America, we have people old and young, male and female, every race imaginable, every religion imagineable, etceteras. But in other ways it is like a scene from the movie 'Mad Max'. People with weapons driving heavily armored and highly modified vehicles through a devastated country side. The whole place seems very surreal. Some mixture of the old west and a future gone horribly wrong...

I'd really like to thank Daniel Rubin of the Philadelphia Inquirer for his very flattering article on me and my blog. It is wonderful to receive such warm support and accolades from home, especially from fellow Philadelphians. I look forward to taking him up on the beer offer.

I have been having quite a bit of trouble sleeping lately. Whereas this has worked wonders for my ability to get a lot of reading and writing done, it has not helped my physical condition. I have been exhausted due to a lack of sleep. I am seriously considering going to see a Doc, but I don't want to be a whiner... I'll go if it gets too rough.

When I do sleep I have been having really weird dreams. Usually about being shot at or things blowing up around me, and recently I had a dream that I was walking up an extremely narrow pass, on an extrmely high rock wall and I fell off, like most falling dreams, I woke up before I hit the bottom.

Last night though, I had an unusual dream that got me to thinking... I dreamt that I stepped on an old Soviet mine, and it blew me to kingdom-come. I woke up when the mine exploded, with my heart racing and I was a little disoriented. Here's what got me thinking... I gre up in the 80's, and I always wanted to join the military. As a child I assumed that I would grow up and fight Soviets, and kill Russians. Of course, by the time I joined the military, the Soviet empire collapsed and the Russians were our friends, c'est la vie. How ironic wouold it be though if it were a Soviet mine to do me in? Wouldn't that somehow seem strangely appropriate?

What is even stranger is that today a stray dog wandered into a mine field, and he didn't get to far before he found a mine. Needless to say for a couple of moments it was raining dog meat. An interesting phenomena to say the least. A buddy of mine was so startled by the blast that he spun around and locked and loaded. No doubt that if there had been an enemy there, it would have quickly become a dead enemy...

I'll tell you this, I have never been much of a religious man. And I am not overly superstitious (maybe a little). But there is one thing, and one thing only that I will accept completely on blind faith... And that is a 'Mines' sign. You tell me that an area is a mine field, and I will believe you, no questions. Mines are scary things, and it only makes them scarier that they still work after all these years.

I'm just glad I wasn't the dog.

I have to admit, that I have been feeling pretty crappy latley. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping, and I am having trouble staying focused. My tour is rapidly coming to an end, and I can feel it. I am ready to go home.

For a long while I was able to look at all the good we are doing in this country, whether it is building schools or killing Taliban, and use that as a means of staying motivated. But lately that hasn't been working. With each mission I can't help but worry in the back of my mind that this might be my last, and how much would it suck to die so close to the end...

But what's far worse, in my opinion is the feeling I have been getting by reading some things from back at home. I read opinions of people who say that we (the service men & women) should be ashamed of ourselves, as if we had a choice in the matter. I will never be ashamed of my service. I may be ashamed of something I am asked to do by my country, but then I think civilians should feel ashamed of themselves for letting me (a serviceman) be put in such a situation. How easy it has be come to send men into harms way... But it takes nerve to blame us for it.

What is worse is that I recently read an article about students against the draft. That's fine, I personally am against any draft that is instituted for the purposes of serving a specific military mission. However, I am all for mandatory government service for everyone after highschool. I think 2 years of service, whether in the Peace Corps, the Military or as a government intern, would not only benefit America but would also benefit the people doing the service. What bothered me about this article in particular was the cowardice that so many American Highschool kids openly expressed, and the pride in which they seemed to express it. Some of these kids wouldn't be willing to die for anything. That is amazing to me. The way I was raised, Cowardice is simply unacceptable, it is the worst of all sins, and it is shameful. It seems that all some kids want is to be able to play with their new Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii, or Playstation 3, and they don't even want to have to work for that. I sometimes fear that our oppulence will lead to our ultimate demise, as it does in all great empires.

None of this has helped me get to sleep at night... None of it is helping my waning motivation... But it has helped concrete my personal belief that "You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything".

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all my readers, and everyone who has been offering my unit, my team and myself support all throughout this long deployment. To all who have written letters, sent packages, written e-mails, left blog comments or simply continue to read my blog, Thank you.

I hope you all have a very Happy, Healthy and Peaceful Thanksgiving.

Please take a moment this year to remember all of us who are over here, and to remember those of us who will never make it home. Freedom is not free.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!